Deontae, Kemeatrous, and Keontae are delightful, endearing boys who are optimistic, spirited, and excited about having an adoptive family where they can grow up together. These brothers just want to belong to a nurturing, stable family. All three boys adore sports. They watch and play football, baseball, and soccer. Athletic skill comes more naturally to Kemeatrous and Keontae, but they all play on teams and follow certain professional teams closely with their foster dad. The greatest challenge in parenting Deontae, Kemeatrous, and Keontae will be making sure each boy gets the attention that he needs and deserves.
Deontae is curious and inquisitive and is always asking “how,” “why,” and “what if” questions and want to be around other people. Deontae does things in his own time and plays very well with children who are a few years younger than he is.
Kemeatrous is an active boy who is constantly on the move and involved in some type of activity. He is easy to please and is just as happy playing on his own as being with a group of people. He seeks adults’ approval and needs a lot of emotional validation and encouragement from his foster parents and teachers. He’s an affectionate boy and loves to both give and receive physical affection.
Keontae is also busy and affectionate like his brother. Flexible and easygoing, he just assimilates into whatever group or situation happens to be around him. He is quite endearing and knows how to really turn on the charm when he wants something or when he’s trying to get himself out of trouble.
Deontae, Kemeatrous, and Keontae, who have always lived together, came into foster care in mid 2010 with their older brother. Although the TPR is underway, the boys are not yet legally free, so interested families need to be licensed for foster care and have an approved adoption homestudy completed.
While their older brother has an alternative permanency plan and is in a separate foster home, he, Deontae, Kemeatrous, and Keontae are participating together in sibling therapy with a therapist and a skills trainer. The sessions are very positive experiences for all four boys and are eagerly anticipated by all of them. Deontae, Kemeatrous, and Keontae also visit regularly with some paternal birth relatives who have been consistently emotionally supportive of the boys and the plan for adoption. The boys will be counting on their adoptive parent(s) to help them maintain their significant connections with their brother and other relatives. It would be wonderful for the adoptive family to be close to Oregon to allow some visitations.
Being willing to participate with Deontae, Kemeatrous, and Keontae in counseling during their transition into their adoptive home would be a significant way for their new parent(s) to show their love and commitment. It would also underscore that the parent(s) are very supportive of using such resources to help family members move forward. It is likely that for the foreseeable future the boys will need some counseling at least on an as-needed basis, as they process their feeling of grief and acclimate to their new family.
All three boys are physically healthy. Developmentally, Kemeatrous and Keontae appear to be right on track.Deontae would benefit from parents who will support continued progress in speech and social/emotional areas. His IEP at school addresses these needs through weekly therapy and he is progressing nicely.
Despite early educational neglect, the boys enjoy school and are well liked by teachers and peers. Not surprisingly academics challenge them. Their adoptive parent(s) need to be strong advocates who stay in close contact with teachers to ensure that the individual needs of each boy are being met. Lots of parental support will assure that the boys stay on top of homework assisgnments.
Deontae, Kemeatrous, and Keontae must have a committed, consistent, and nurturing home. Other than academic challenges and Deontae’s delays, the boys do not have any significant special needs. It will be important for their adoptive parent(s) to have a good grasp of how early abuse and neglect (e.g., educational, medical, and physical) can impact a child’s sense of well being, safety, and development.
Most importantly, the adoptive family needs to have a clear, realistic understanding of what an adoption transition looks like for older children. The new parent(s) need to be able to bring lots of patience and compassion to guiding the boys as they move through feelings of grief and loss and acclimate to their adoptive family, school, and community. A very strong level of commitment to the boys and to making sure they have the supports needed to be successful should be their adoptive family’s mission, as a disrupted adoption for these older boys would be catastrophic for their ability to trust and attach to any future caregiver.
Deontae, Kemeatrous & Keontae is available for adoption through the State of Oregon. For contact information, please contact the Idaho CareLine at 1-800-926-2588.