Is your child headed off to college? Here are 5 tips to manage mental health

By Andrea Kane, CNN

(CNN) — College students are carrying a lot of baggage with them as they head off to campus this fall — and not just the usual dorm accoutrements. And many parents may be worried about whether their kids are going to be all right.

Besides facing the usual stressors of family life, nonstop work in high school and the struggle to get into college, many students have experienced years of navigating social media pressures, managing climate anxiety, practicing drills in case of a school shooting and (more recently) negotiating divisive protests over the war in Gaza.

On top of these issues are the social, emotional, educational, familial and financial setbacks that a great deal of them experienced as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.

It’s no wonder that these and other factors led experts to declare a national state of emergency in youth mental health in 2021. (The situation has improved since then, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, but it’s still not pretty.)

“Unfortunately, the picture is not a good one,” psychologist Dr. Nance Roy told CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta on his podcast Chasing Life recently.

Roy is the chief clinical officer at The JED Foundation, a nonprofit focused on the emotional well-being of teenagers and young adults, and an assistant clinical professor in the Yale School of Medicine’s department of psychiatry.

“Look at what’s happening in our world. I mean, the environmental factors … school shootings, hate crimes, political divisiveness, financial insecurity, war,” Roy said. “These are the things that our young people are growing up with.

“They’ve not yet had a period of stability within which to sort of place the conflicts that they’re living with right now and the challenges that they’re facing. This is their only reality.”

But Roy said she is not pessimistic. “A lot of folks talk about, ‘We’re having a mental health crisis right now among our young people,’” she said. “And I’d like to reframe that. … ‘Crisis’ I think is a difficult word because it suggests that there isn’t hope, when in fact there is some hope.”

You can listen to the podcast’s full episode here.

One of the biggest challenges facing students, Roy said, is the same one confronting society at large.

“We see really loneliness being the biggest issue for first-year students,” she said. “When you think about that, it makes sense, right? They’re moving away from their holding environments, moving away from family, friends, connections that they had.”

Roy said it takes time to build relationships. “They’re navigating their way for the first time independently. They’re having to develop their own sense of routine and structures. Nothing’s built in like it often is when they’re in high school and living at home,” she added, noting that some schools are better than others about creating situations that allow students to mix and mingle in an organic, nonstructured way.

As for coping with the effects of the pandemic, Roy said people do not recover spontaneously the moment a catastrophic event ends. “It takes many years for people to deal with … the trauma that they experienced, the devastation. And so the pandemic is no different, right? Just because the pandemic is — quote — over, as we say, doesn’t mean everybody’s back to normal,” she said.

“We need to allow for people, young people especially, to repair, to be able to come back to learning skills that got rusty, reengaging in the world,” she said. “Especially when we work with schools, we talk with them about being mindful about what these students are bringing with them and helping them not dismiss it but helping them navigate their way through it.”

How can students (and their stressed-out parents) make the transition to college in a way that supports their mental health? Roy has these five tips for families.

Expect mixed emotions

Transitioning or returning to college can bring up feelings of both excitement and anxiety, Roy said in an email.

“Living independently, meeting new people, and making friends are some of the best parts of the college experience, but it takes time and patience to get acclimated to campus and a new routine,” she noted.

Roy suggested setting a schedule that includes time for studying as well as for relaxing and making connections. “Try putting yourself out there — maybe that’s joining a club, fraternity or sorority, or volunteer organization,” she said.

Bumps in the road are to be expected. Have grace and patience with yourself if the adjustment takes longer than you expected.

Know that relationships will evolve

Relationships with family members and friends will likely change during college, Roy said.

“It takes time and patience to adjust to new boundaries and relationship dynamics,” she said. “Students will increasingly navigate their way independently while parents support them from the sidelines.”

At the same time, Roy said, it’s important for parents to remain available and for students to know it’s OK to reach out when help is needed.

You got this!

Transitioning or returning to a new living, social or academic environment may be challenging at times, but adjusting to these changes doesn’t always require professional attention.

“Often, what’s needed is a caring, compassionate support system and time to navigate the ups and downs of college life,” she said.

As for parents and caregivers, “it’s important to tune in to your own anxieties to try to separate your worries from what your student is actually experiencing,” Roy said.

Having empathetic conversations and asking gentle questions can help a parent understand what might be going on while allowing the student to feel understood and supported.

Practice self-care regularly

Intentionally build in time and space to take care of yourself.

“Self-care doesn’t just happen on its own,” Roy said. “Getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and engaging in mindfulness practices as well as pleasurable activities will go a long way in making it easier to navigate life’s challenges.”

Making self-care a daily habit can be challenging for everyone, she said, especially when you’re on your own and learning to manage new situations. Roy recommended taking the time to think about what you need when it comes to self-care and actively planning how to accomplish those goals.

Familiarize yourself with campus resources

Find out what resources are available on your campus, including financial aid and academic support, accessibility, health and counseling services, Roy advised.

“If you have a physical or mental health condition prior to entering or returning to school, it’s important to contact the health or counseling office in advance to establish a care plan on or off campus so everything you need is in place before the demands of the semester are upon you,” she said.

“Remember: These services are here to assist you should you have questions or need help. In fact, they can make your college experience that much more meaningful.”

You can also go off campus for help. Roy said JED’s Set to Go hub offers resources to support students and their parents and caregivers as they navigate this transition.

“You can always ask for help or support if you need it,” she said.

We hope these five tips help set up your family for a successful transition to college life. Listen to the full episode here. And join us next week on the Chasing Life podcast when we explain the NFL’s new kickoff rules and why they are expected to make football safer.

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CNN Audio’s Jesse Remedios contributed to this report.