How to talk about politics when traveling abroad
Essay by Kim Davis, CNN
(CNN) — They say there are three things you shouldn’t speak about if you want to maintain good relationships with people: religion, money or politics. While the first two might be easy enough to avoid, I have always found that it’s nearly impossible to steer away from political conversations when traveling abroad, especially in the current political climate.
The second I open up my mouth and people can hear that I’m American, many want to know my thoughts on the candidates and the hot-button issues of the day.
Some people are genuinely interested in having a conversation. Some are sizing me up to judge me. Others are just looking to provoke a reaction. Whatever their intentions, navigating these conversations, especially with strangers in a foreign country, can be extremely tricky.
I’ve certainly made a lot of political conversation mistakes during my overseas adventures throughout the years. However, these errors have taught me some priceless communication lessons that have changed my life for the better.
So how can you talk politics when traveling abroad without offending others, looking stupid or starting a bar fight?
Here are my top tips for crossing these conversational minefields and avoiding the most common pitfalls. Hopefully, it will help you make friends and have productive interactions, regardless of whether you lean red, blue or purple.
Research the politics of the country you’re visiting
Even if you don’t know and understand every nuance of the political system of the country you’re visiting, reading up on the basics will help you come across as more well-informed, and that will ultimately make others more likely to listen to what you have to say.
Knowing the local politics can also help keep you safe. You never know what information, however innocently interpreted, might trigger people the wrong way.
For example, the first time I visited Scotland, I was in my early 20s. I knew of the country’s historical feuds with England, but because both were now part of the United Kingdom, I naively assumed they were living happily ever after.
I was quickly disabused of those beliefs by a taxi driver at Edinburgh’s airport who, on learning I was from New York and had just come from London, asked me what I thought of Queen Elizabeth II. On hearing of my love for royal pageantry, he gave me a spirited lecture on why Scotland should be independent.
He was actually very funny and helpful, but the interaction did change the way I spoke to others on that trip. It made a difference.
Understand how US politics are connected to the country you’re visiting
When I first started traveling the world, I was fascinated to find that nearly everyone I met knew a lot more about American politics than most of the folks I knew back home. Most of these people weren’t following other foreign countries’ politics, just ours. I was curious as to why.
I quickly came to understand the full reach of US policies and culture, and how they can directly impact the lives of others abroad, even in everyday, mundane ways.
For example, one person I met had his entire life savings invested in the US stock market. Another person owned a movie theater and his livelihood depended on the international appeal of US films in his neighborhood.
The people I spoke to did not have opinions just because they were watching or reading the news. Their daily lives were intertwined with America’s success. So, their deeply held reactions, knowledge and beliefs started to make a lot more sense to me. It also helped me better understand how truly interconnected we all are.
Now, when I travel, I like to ask people about how American politics directly affect their lives. It really opens up some unexpected conversations. If you can recognize what connects us globally, then you can understand what connects us personally.
Let the other person talk first
People have different intentions of why they want to talk politics with you. Some are just making small talk. Some are looking for an excuse to cause trouble.
As Kenny Rogers sang in “The Gambler”: “You gotta know when to hold ‘em / Know when to fold ‘em / Know when to walk away / And know when to run.” The same is true with political conversations.
Before you say a word, it’s best to determine whether this is someone you even want to share your opinions with. Personally, I find the best way is to let the other person talk first.
Not only can listening to the other person’s beliefs first help prevent uncomfortable situations, it will also help you craft your thoughts, decide if you want to engage and navigate your path accordingly.
So, how do you get the other person to share first? It’s easy. The most common way to do this is by answering a question with a question.
For example, if someone asks you, “What do you think of (insert political personality here)?” you can answer with, “They’re definitely very interesting. What do people here think of them?”
No matter how you phrase it, people are usually bursting to share their thoughts and feelings. These open-ended questions give you an advantage by allowing you to read the room before deciding whether this is a conversation you even want to enter into.
Adapt your conversational style
One of my favorite things about traveling is discovering the different ways in which people engage with one another and adding those techniques to my own methods.
Whether it’s the bolder and animated style of some Mediterranean regions or the more restrained approach found in parts of Asia, there is no right or wrong. But if you want to talk about politics abroad, you might want to consider how the locals communicate and adapt your style.
When I moved to Europe nearly two decades ago, I noticed that people tended to pull information out of others rather than push their own ideas. Conversations were more like a fact-finding mission than a debate.
Of course, there are always exceptions, but my experience has been that conversations in Europe carry less judgment, and oftentimes people do change their minds about sensitive subjects.
My personal default is to express myself passionately. However, over time I’ve learned how to tame and adapt my style while staying true to who I am. I just think of it as adjusting the volume level on a radio: Same song, different level of intensity.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, so that you can see the world from their viewpoint, is especially important when talking about politics abroad.
A good place to start is to consider that when the other person doesn’t get a vote in American elections, it might be important for them to feel like they have their voice and desires heard through you.
I always like to ask people from other cultures about how they perceive American politics, how US policies might have directly affected them and what they would like to see change.
Their answers always surprise me. Their unique perspectives make me see and consider things I’d never thought of before. Most of all, it brings about a meaningful exchange of ideas.
Showing empathy helps to nurture unity and keep the conversation pleasant.
Find the humor
Politicians all over the world do some crazy stuff, and plenty of examples can be found on all sides.
These stories can bring grief and shame to constituents. They can also be extremely amusing to people outside of the country who may not have any emotional connection to the antics.
With this in mind, it’s always helpful to take a step back and not get offended by others making fun of US politicians when you’re outside of the United States.
The same way we giggle at their stories, it’s only fair for them to giggle at ours. It might feel uncomfortable, but humor is one of the best ways to connect with people and bring them out of their shell.
Choose your words wisely
When traveling abroad, language is already a barrier, so you need to choose your words wisely.
A language divide is a great way to force you to simplify your thoughts into clear and concise messages.
Certain word choices have an impact in any language. For example, avoid dismissive words that devalue what another person is saying. Try to eliminate words such as “ridiculous” or “stupid” and replace them with more respectful words that actually explain why you don’t agree.
Next, try to avoid absolute words such as “never,” “always” and “every.”
You’ll also want to avoid sweeping generalizations. Instead, offer the personal stories and experiences that formed your beliefs. This will make you more authentic and relatable, instead of making people think you’re just parroting talking points from TV.
No matter how passionate you are, it goes without saying that personal attacks are always best avoided, both at home and abroad.
By all means, feel free to critique ideas, policies, etc., but never attack a person.
Finally, avoid coming across as condescending. The tone in which you deliver the words can be just as important as the words themselves
Understanding how to talk about politics when traveling abroad can help you build strong personal and professional relationships with people from all backgrounds and beliefs.
Who knows, you may even develop the skills to become a great politician yourself.
Kim Davis is a TV presenter, journalist and marketing expert. She is American by birth, with European ancestry and British residence, giving her a global perspective on what it’s like to be an American abroad.
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